4. Tartarino’s lost in own genius.

TARTARINO: Then I’ll have y’all lynched ’cause you won’t sing the songs I want in the fields! Ha ha ha ha—
BAM! Fast forward 100 years, and I’m gonna play the cracker Fed that avenges your murders!

5. Hombre #1 lunges across the table at Tartarino, who’s gleeful.

TARTARINO: And to prove I’m down, I’ll be bonin’ one of your great-great-granddaugh—

HOMBRE #1: Sick bastard!

6. Hombre #1 falls short, bonk!ing his hapless head on the table. We see Hombre #2 and the other two behind him, all looking solemn as #2 tries to reason with the openly contemptuous Tartarino.

HOMBRE #2: Y’see, we do positive power ballads, Mr Tartarino, lite r&b that skillfully skirts black pain—

BONKED HEAD SOUND FX: Clunk!

TARTARINO: I know all about your pain, motherf**ker—I used to work in a video store!

7. Close on Tartarino’s malicious, sneering face.

TARTARINO: And “positive” don’t override the mandatory promotional cooperation clause in your contracts! You’ll do what I’m hired to tell you to do—that right, Boss?

8. Pull back—
We see suits and Hombres around the table, all cowering under some creepy floating words that seem to come from everywhere . . . and nowhere.

FLOATING WORDS: OBEY OR DIE

9. Tartarino’s clasped his hands together in triumph. We can see the Hombres’ spirit has been broken as Hombre #1 dejectedly gives in to song.

TARTARINO: C’mon, I’m your biggest fan! Now—
I slaved all this morning,
Worked as hard as I could.

HOMBRE #1: Slavery’s bad—
And by bad, I mean, No Good.

10. Despite themselves, the Hombres are professionals: They stand, obviously singing their asses off—and Tartarino’s singing along with them, flanked by two on each side . . . their arms over each other shoulders, like drunken solders on V-E day.

ALL: At the crack of the whip
My mind starts to slip,
I lose hold of all my hopes.
HERE I STAND—

11. BIG PANORAMIC PANEL, KYLE—It’s like a scene at Mt. Calvary:
In left b.g., on a hill, we see the hangéd silhouettes of Homz II Hombre, dangling off their ropes from the limbs of a huge gnarly tree. Of course, their collective word balloon indicates they’re still singing.
Filling the bulk of the panel are frenzied, screaming teenage girls, dressed in modern club-wear.
In right f.g., we see Tartarino’s facing us, wearing some clichéd Massah outfit—tight black pants, white shirt opened to reveal a bare chest glistening with sweat, bullwhip held curled and angled toward us. He looks sardonically pleased.

HOMBRES: —AT THE END OF MY ROPE!
I feel like such a dope!
Slavery is wrong,
It is oh so wrong,
Did I say it’s wrong?

TARTARINO: Am I a f**king genius, or what?

THE END

™ ©1996 Robert Morales and Kyle Baker. Know what they call you niggas in France? Negre! All rights reserved.

Bob Morales writes Captain America for Marvel. Rich Johnston writes Lying In The Gutters.

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