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Waiting For Tommy XIV
Yet another piece of junk spam email in my Inbox... when will these people ever learn???

MAKE SUPERPOWERS FAST!!!

Hi. My name is Meg Morris and I'd had these kinds of offers for years but threw them all away, thinking this was a scam. But one day I received an email just like this one. It asked me to send just $5 to five addresses, then send out copies to everyone I knew, with the first name removed, everyone moved up one place, and then my own address on the bottom. I'd had a hard day and thought, how hard could it be? So I gambled those twenty-five dollars.

Within the first four weeks I had a close encounter with a lorry carrying radioactive waste, despite governmental edicts banning such deliveries in my area. I was bitten by an alien muskrat. And I discovered that I was one of a long family line who had inherited strange mystical powers in order to protect the planet.

Soon I was saving the world from fiercesome beasts, tackling mad geniuses hellbent on world domination and giving wedgies to glorified bank robbers with a supernatural knuckleduster.

Little did I suspect that I would be enlisted by a group of superheroes, all of whom I recognised as being the five people on the original Make Superpowers Fast letter. It worked for them, it worked for me, it could work for YOU TOO!!!

They asked me to join their band of flawed capitalist fantasy figures and together we have our own line of toys, games, colouring-in books and comics.

But we're starting to run out of interesting foes to fight. And we realise that if there was an actual menace, such as an asteroid heading towards the Earth, or maybe if AIDS becomes a real threat to normal-minded Americans, then being able to turn into a weasel or having the ability to talk to concrete may no longer be enough. It's just possible then we might need superpowers we haven't even dreamt of to tackle them.

So now it's my turn to send this email on again. We hope that if everyone who reads this email sends it on to fifty of their friends, who send it onto fifty of their friends and so on, that within two months everyone in the USA and much of the rest of the world will have made both a lot of money and superpowers fast.

Then things are really going to get interesting.

The Waiting For Tommy Archive

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