FOR TOMMY 2
I'm still Rich Johnston. I'm best known
for being a gossip
monger but here you get to read some of
the scrapings in my head. Let Dynamic Forces be your petri
dish as you
examine the remains of my synapses, squashed as they are,
upon a glass pane.
week's pitch session with Joe Quesada was so successful,
I decided that I should approach DC and see if my progress
would be as smooth. This week, I pitched one idea to he-of-the-rolling-eyes,
Mike Carlin, Vice-President and executive editor.
Man Of Floppiness
been thinking about Plasticman hard for about ten years.
No, don't call the police, it's just that I know how to
do him right. And no one else does. Indeed, only because
I've been thinking about him so much, through at least two
divorces and the lifetime of a child I've never seen that
I have the right to totally change the character. No one
else does, or should ever. Anyway. Here are my demands:
if you acquiesce to all of them, I think we've got a go.
out as a criminal is WRONG. We want people to look up
to Plasticman. George W Bush started life as a criminal
- do we really think children look up to him? They look
*down* on him - and not just because they can use cutlery
better then he can.
plastic nature is down to exposure to a unique strain
of the Ebola virus that makes his body leak everywhere
in a controlled manner. This is a realistic twist that
explains every aspect of his powers - except for the
colour coding. I don't want to explain that one - and
neither should anyone else!.
make Woozy Winks a serious private detective rather
than a bumbling fool. I suggest either a rape or an
infant death in his past. Something to ground him and
make him all serious now and then. He can furrow his
brow and everything.
want total control over Plasticman when I'm writing
the book. No one else is allowed to use him. This means
when I'm exploring the sexual possibilities involved
in changing your shape into any form possible, I don't
want sodding Joe Kelly to have him turning into a swan
for a feathered love session first, okay?
me a million dollars.
Carlin's response: Thanks. But we already have a "Plastic
Man" series in the works. Good luck with your "Mr.
response: Oh Joe.
week, since I'm British, I might as well try my hand with
Millar used to go on at me about how good Mark Waid was.
That he was a
brilliant writer, Mark's personal favourite in comics and
how I was blind
not to see it. And I didn't. Hell, I still don't. Thought
his Flash was
boring, Kingdom Come deadly boring (apart from a few interesting
the middle), Captain America plodding and deadly boring
and it was only when
Empire came out that I thought "hmm".
Four 60 is out. It costs 9 cents. And it feels like Mark
been possessed by the gestalt entity of Grant Morrison and
Alan Moore. This
book feels a lot like Tom Strong but moves at a Grant Morrison
quick witted and clever.
not the Fantastic Four we know. Hell, the initial squabbling
Ben and Johnny is jarring, but your mind soon adjusts to
functional of families. I'd like to read more of this Fantastic
Four. And if
any future movie doesn't use this as a reference point,
they're very silly.
an introduction to mainstream superheroes for a mainstream
don't think it could have done better. Leagues ahead of
the Batman Ten Cent
Adventure, Gen 13 0 or any of the superhero Free Comic Book
nine cents. What have you got to lose?
Baker - or is it Daddy?
the series of Tom Baker anecdotes from the radio advertising
of mine once had to drag Tom Baker away from a bar for a
recording session. Entertaining a gaggle of young ladies,
it was a brave man who attempted to do such a thing. Pretty
much everyone between the ages of twenty eight and forty
in the UK has a sense of awe about Tom Baker, he was Doctor
Who, he was a father figure and to be frank, much better
at beating off the flailing Daleks, Cybermen and Silurians
than Dad. And doesn't Tom bloody Baker know it.
arm, tucked in arm, Tom was dragged towards the door. He
left shouting "Antony Hopkins had a permanent erection
from the years nineteen seventy-seven to nineteen eighty-two.
Huge priaprism it was."
never watch Remains Of The Day the same way again.
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