By Richard Johnston
BUY A CGC GRADED COMIC. No, no, bear me out. Pony up the
cash and buy a CGC graded comic from the wall of some dealer.
A cheap one of course, the cheapest you can find. Then, in
plain view of him, open up the sealed case and begin reading
the comic book.
when he faints, you can steal all his good stuff.
ENCOURAGE FALSE HOPES. Tell a bad artist that you're a
comic editor. Say you're from DC, they've got so many and
they come and go, the artist will be none the wiser. The worse
the art is, the better your opportunity. Praise it to the
skies. From the soulless eyes, to the lack of anatomy, to
the fact they've actually been drawing with a prehensile tail,
it doesn't matter.
if they'd like to draw Batman. Or Superman. Watch their fanboy
eyes light up and head begin to overheat.
THERE IS NO TIME 'TOO SOON' TO DRINK ALCOHOL. It seems
amongst some on the West Coast that the act of openly drinking
alcohol is socially similar to that of snorting cocaine. Revel
in the notoriety. A shot or two with breakfast always gives
a convention an added sparkle. And you'll always find someone
else to drink with - because they haven't finished from last
GET JOHN MCCREA TO TELL YOU A JOKE. Always the highlight
of any convention.
now, where was I? Ah yes.
TO KYLE BAKER
first encountered Kyle Baker's work on the third mini-series
of Damage control, from Marvel Comics. I loved that book,
a series about a team of construction workers and lawyers
living in the Marvel Universe. And I thought Kyle's worked
sucked. Hey, I was about 11, like I'm going to know.
was WHY I HATE SATURN. Okay, that's the bunny. I'll have been
about 16, the perfect time to read the book. I wanted to be
that witty. Still do, really.
Baker is also partially responsible for my bathroom and honeymoon
- when his and Elizabeth Glass's Superbaby story -- among
other things -- caused DC to pulp the Elseworlds' Eighty Page
Giant, my having bought 30 of them, made eBay a very profitable
place. I sent one to Kyle for free because, hell, he didn't
even have his own copy. Kyle then proceeded to make a dollar
off everyone who wanted to read it at the next convention
then, he's had a diverse smattering of projects - YOU ARE
HERE, KING DAVID, TRUTH, UNDERCOVER GENIE. and now PLASTIC
MAN. And mostly from DC, the company who so generously pulped
him to an Eisner Award.
JOHNSTON: So, what happened to the Kyle Baker who vowed
he's never work for DC again after the Elseworlds Eighty Page
Giant was pulped? King David, Undercover Genie, Cowboy Wally
Show tell a different story. What happened to change your
BAKER: The exact quote I gave at the time was "It won't
happen again," and I'm confident that situation won't happen
again. I don't remember what the exact problems were back
then (it's been a few years), but there were communication
glitches where DC company policy was not being made clear
even within the company, and as a result I was doing work
which would later get scrapped. I had had two jobs in a row
bounced, the babysitter and a Wildstorm job, and I really
needed to know what the rules were before wasting any more
time on a DC comic. Disney and Nickelodeon have clearly defined
parameters for acceptable work, and even WB animation has
a written list from the FCC of what you can't do. I've worked
for all of those companies, and haven't had any jobs scrapped,
because I know their rules. I've never been a troublemaker,
I'm a professional who does the job he's hired for. PLASTIC
MAN is intended to be family entertainment. I don't foresee
any problems with content, since I plan to give it to my own
children to read, and I wouldn't give them anything inappropriate.
KING DAVID was a safe bet for DC because if anyone objected
to the sexual or violent content, I just said, "It's in the
Holy Bible, and I will not rewrite or censor God's Word."
UNDERCOVER GENIE and COWBOY WALLY are reprints, so DC already
knew what they were getting.
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