DF Interview: Graphic novel creator Paula Cheshire shares navigating her life after the loss of her mother to cancer in ‘In Mourning’

By Byron Brewer

When someone dies, there is a void – a loss. No matter what. There’s a whirlwind of feelings and confusion. We don’t know what happens to the dead after death, but we do know what happens to the living.

Creator Paula Cheshire beautifully narrates the loss of her mother and how she copes with the sudden loss in this charming and moving graphic novel, In Mourning, from Mad Cave Studios and its Maverick imprint. Originally published in Spanish under the title El Duelo, the 2022 OGN is getting this new English translation. Here is what Paula told me about the book… and the experience.

Byron Brewer: Paula, I am both touched and a bit envious that your coming graphic novel In Mourning revolves around the passing of your mother and how it affected your own life. My Mom passed away after a relatively short time in hospice and, while I do not encounter its challenge EVERY day, I still DO encounter it. She died in 2013. It’s 2025 as of this writing, and I STILL do not think I could author so personal a book as this. How and why did you decide to do this as the foundation of your OGN?

Paula Cheshire: In Mourning was born out of a need to express myself. It is very hard for me to show my feelings face to face (I am working on it): my medium has always been drawing. When my mother died, even though I was surrounded by family and friends, I felt unavoidably alone. I needed to unleash everything that I had in my mind, so I created some comic strips and uploaded them to my social media. I suddenly realized that many strangers were leaving comments, telling me they felt the same. Those strips were the beginning of my later work: In Mourning.

Byron: Without spoilers for the book, what can you tell readers about your Mom?

Paula Cheshire: My mother always put other people before herself. She wasn’t selfish at all, and even though she had a strong personality, she was very sensitive. However, she didn't like to show that side of her. She was impatient, restless, and couldn't stop even when she was sick. To be honest, I wish she could have had a slower pace of life. As time goes by, I realize I am like her a lot, even though I don’t have half the strength she had.

Byron: Again without spoilers, how was your relationship with your Mom at the time of her passing? I ask because whatever the response, it can certainly color a scenario.

Paula Cheshire: I wanted to be with her all the time, but it was really hard to watch her suffer. It was unnatural for me to see someone that strong suddenly become so fragile. She counted on me to vent many times, and I was happy about that. On the other hand, sadness and anxiety were tearing me apart, and I regret very much not being with her as much as I could have been.

Byron: I have been through the death of both parents and three grands (my paternal grandfather passed of cancer in 1937, a bit before my 1958 arrival on Earth). I know everyone’s experiences are unique. What do you hope readers – especially young adults, which is the focus of the Maverick imprint – can take away from the sharing of your personal story of loss and its toll on your life?

Paula Cheshire: One of my goals with In Mourning was to walk alongside the reader in their own grief, helping them understand that their feelings are valid (both the good ones and the bad ones). Talking about death is not easy, and it certainly is not pleasant, but it is necessary, especially with young people. Having some guidelines may help them avoid regretting certain behaviors, as I did.

Byron: When my friend’s parent passed, she could not look at any photos of that parent. One of her relatives literally removed all visible photos of the parent from plain sight per my friend’s request. It was a while before she could look at her parent’s image and an even longer while before she could post it, or see it posted, on Facebook. Was there any such reaction with your mother’s passing that took a long time to deal with, and how did you do that, if so?

Paula Cheshire: For me, it was deleting her phone number. I opened WhatsApp to read our conversations, and I listened to her last voice messages (when she was in palliative care) again and again. It was really painful and not the best thing for me, but I was genuinely afraid of forgetting her voice. Even now, if I think about that and feel I can’t remember her talking to me, her voice, even when we argued about something, I get really scared. Eventually, for my own good, I deleted our conversations and her phone number.

Byron: I know you did this book as its sole creator, almost. Was there any part of it that was especially painful, or uplifting? I am searching, I guess, to see if the drawing or the writing of this saga affected you more, and was that in a positive way or a negative way? Or both?

Paula Cheshire: I think it had its good and bad moments. I forced myself to remember things I didn’t want to remember, things I had buried behind a wall in my mind. It was especially painful to write the script. I wrote it as a diary, so I felt it even more personal… I couldn’t stop crying. The drawing part was easier, not always, but every time I had to draw my mom smiling or in a good moment, it was cathartic.

Byron: Paula, what other projects are you working on or are about to come out that you can tell readers about?

Paula Cheshire: The comic artist profession is so addictive, and I can’t stop thinking about new stories, but I feel I will never have enough time for all of them, hee hee. My next comic will be published this year in October in Spain; it will be called “La receta de la Magia” (something like "Magic's recipe"). It is something completely different from the things I usually do: it is a fantasy story narrating the adventures of three witches from different worlds. In the meantime, I am working on the script of my next autobiographical comic book: “La gran farsante” (The Great Pretender). In this work, I am going to talk about the infamous imposter syndrome. I have more things planned and I am open to new projects, but for the moment, this is it!

Thank you very much for the interview, Byron, it was a pleasure!

Byron: For myself as well, Paula!

Dynamic Forces would like to thank Paula Cheshire for taking time out of her busy schedule to answer our questions. The In Mourning OGN from Mad Cave Studios and its Maverick imprint is slated to be on sale August 27!

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